you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
