but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
