Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
