we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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