I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
