You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
