They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My friends, they love my intelligence
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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