i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
