Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
