Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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