i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
