I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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