U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
