we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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