Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
