Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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