So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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