whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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