I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
