I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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