seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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