I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
