Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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