Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
