I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
