Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Randomize
