when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
