Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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