i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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