In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize