sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
