Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
