yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The adults are the big ones right?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
