I think im going to throw up on grandma
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
