Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
