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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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