thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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