so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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