My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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