Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
