if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
