Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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