cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
