***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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