You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
