Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
