Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
