Christians are straight up FREAKS
nut hugger
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
