I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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