theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
