The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
