You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
