Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
