saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
