would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
