so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
