He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
