i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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