ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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