Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
