Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
