I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
