I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
