There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
